Berg Nudelman

Sharon Berg Interviews Merle Nudelman

(Ekstasis Editions, 2023)

Merle Nudelman

Sharon Berg: I want to begin by thanking you for taking the time to do this interview, Merle. I think that interviews can reveal, in a very different way from book reviews, the process and insights that are necessary for creating a book.

Your book Michael and Me is full of grief presented with such enviable skill and depth it makes me pause, not wanting to ask questions, just accepting your insights. Can you talk about the strength you found through writing about what you experienced by losing your son as you did?

Merle Nudelman:      Thank you for your kind words. Your reaction to my book is exactly what I intended ― the reader pausing to sit with the images and ideas, allowing insights to gently percolate.

The emotional and artistic challenge of writing about what Michael endured and all that he taught me have definitely brought me a measure of peace. Finding the right words and images to accurately express what transpired during Michael's illness and after his death, forced me to move beyond the pain of those moments to the light that surrounded and inspired us during that time. The creative process required me to assume a degree of emotional distance from the events as well as to view that period from a fresh perspective. This was both soothing and strengthening.

I feel privileged to share the profound lessons and insights that I gleaned during those difficult years. To touch and inspire others with our story heals my heart, elevates my spirit and honours Michael's life. Many of the poems recall his courage, kindness, and boundless love. That is sustaining.

SB:        I know you are part of the writing workshop, The Long Dash, in Toronto. I wonder how many of these poems traveled through your writing workshop? Did the workshop process influence those that didn't travel to meetings with you? Please offer whatever details about the experience you can.

MN:      Over a period of months, most of the poems in Michael and Me were workshopped by my poet-colleagues at The Long Dash meetings. We have worked together for many years and have become trusted friends and supporters. Of course, everyone knew about Michael's battle with cancer and about his death so this knowledge informed the feedback that I received. Often I voiced my intention in writing a particular piece and asked if the poem effectively conveyed my thoughts or if the poem needed clarification.

Before I brought any of these poems to our Long Dash meetings, the entire collection had been read and edited by the skilled poet and editor, Allan Briesmaster, whose comments and encouragement were invaluable. As a result of my work with Allan, the poems that I brought to The Long Dash Group had already been refined. The additional feedback that I got at our meetings sparked some editing revisions that tightened the pieces. Often the changes involved deleting any unnecessary words so that the heart of the piece could shine more clearly. The positive responses that Michael and Me elicited from the group were deeply validating and encouraging. I am very grateful to be part of this gifted, sensitive group of poets and to have received such astute feedback. Any poems that I didn't bring to our meetings were already polished and finished in my opinion.

SB:        Your poetry is intense. I normally read a poetry book in one or two sittings. This time I could not. How do you see your book being read? A poem at a time, ten at a time? How do you conceptualize the influence you have over how a reader might absorb your work?

MN:      I think that the subject matter of this collection calls for a slower, more considered pace of reading to allow the story and the revelations to simmer in the psyche rather than rushing through the book. Spiritual and emotional poems such as “Prayer for Wholeness”; “Light in the Darkness of After”; “The Defenseless Heart”; and “Flight Variations” ask for a few moments to be fully felt and absorbed. I interspersed nature poems such as “Northern Woods” and “Walking with the Great Blue” throughout Michael and Me to give the reader a break from the intensity of the overarching narrative.

Starting with the evocative painting on the book cover and the epigraphs quoting Einstein and Rumi, I invite the reader to walk with me on a road of discovery, to be open to the mysteries and blessings that surround us every day. I hope that, as the book unfolds, the poems move the reader to trust that we have the power to help ourselves and others even in the darkest moments; that we are loved and supported far more than we may realize; that love and the soul are eternal. It is up to the readers to discover and to accept what resonates with them.

SB:        Every book takes a stance in the midst of its contemporary social and political concerns. How do you describe the position of Michael and Me and its areas of concern in today's world?

MN:      My concern centres on the hatred, divisiveness, and negativity rampant in the world today. This is a time of great political and social unrest globally. It's a time of anger, silo thinking, fear, and isolation. History has shown us that when we're on the precipice of change, it is vital to pay attention and to take positive action. We must believe that there is a unity, a oneness of all living beings and that love is at the core of who we are. If we truly love ourselves and connect with the light that resides within each of us, it follows that we can better love others and the world around us. That love calls to us to live in peace and harmony and to heal our ailing planet while there is still time. The poems in Michael and Me speak to this oneness of all life and to our duty to love all beings and our planet. We are far more than our physical bodies. We have the power to heal ourselves, others and our world. Our souls are yearning.

SB:        In terms of the audience for Michael and Me, there will be a group who are naturally drawn to reading it, and people you think should read it. Are those two groups different? Please elaborate.

MN:      Those two groups are basically the same. Those who are naturally drawn to reading Michael and Me are people who have suffered a deep loss in their own lives or are going through an emotionally or physically challenging time. Spiritual people are also attracted to this collection ― people seeking answers to some of life's big questions. Readers searching for solace and insight would also be drawn to read this book. I am grateful for those readers.

I think that the experiences and lessons described in Michael and Me would be comforting and elevating for everyone. We've all sustained emotional wounds and carry doubts and questions. We will all suffer painful losses over our lifetime. These poems can provide comfort and guidance in those hard times as well as afterwards.

SB:        Is this a book that seemed to lay itself out on the page quickly, almost as if it were channeled, or did you put a lot of effort into its structure? Was there a developmental process? Please elaborate.

MN:      Michael and Me was first written as a memoir and then I rewrote it as a collection of poems with Michael as the narrator. The poems progress chronologically. I wanted to mirror what we had experienced as the events unfolded.

Oftentimes it felt to me as if this book was writing itself. I sat at the computer typing for hours and hours, oblivious to the passing time. I felt guided.

My final editor for this book, Antonio D'Alfonso, advised me to rewrite the poems with the poet/mother as the narrator which is how the collection now reads. The poet/mother plays many roles in Michael and Me. She is an active participant and a witness to the events described as well as a student of the many lessons that life presented over a period of years.

SB:        In terms of your own development as a literary artist, what do you hope this book will achieve for you? Ignoring any reviews you may have received, do you think it does this?

MN:      My hope is that the candor and the love that I have shared in Michael and Me will touch readers and open them to the possibility that the soul is eternal and love is boundless. My further hope is that I have succeeded in skillfully creating art and beauty out of loss and grief.

From the responses that I have received from audiences for whom I have done presentations and readings from this book, I think that I have been successful in achieving my goal and for this, I am profoundly grateful.

SB:        Please describe the central idea that links all of the parts in this collection and why you felt it was important to address this in contemporary times.

MN:      The central idea is that we are far more than we may realize. We have the power to heal ourselves, others and the planet if we choose to trust in ourselves and to work in harmony. Underlying everything is love — love of self, of others, and our planet. At our core we are love and when we connect with that light, we nourish ourselves and all around us. In these troubled times of political, social and economic divisiveness, of war and hatred, of anger and disillusionment, it's essential to believe that we can improve our lives and the lives of others, that we have the power to make a positive difference in the world and then, to act, speak and make choices that will foster peace, understanding, and well-being for everyone.

SB:        How does this book fit in the stream of all of your literary works? Is there some fundamental difference between Michael and Me and your prior work?

MN:      In all of my poetry collections I have examined relationships, healing, the natural world, kindness, and hope. Over time I explored spiritual themes in greater depth and with more understanding. In Michael and Me I continued my work of meditating on all of these themes and completing my exploration of the insights I shared in my previous book, The Seeker Ascends. I chose to be transparent in Michael and Me rather than hiding behind a screen of subtleties. My intention was and is to convey what I learned and experienced without any ambiguity.

SB:       If you were asked to name another author's work that compared to the overall theme in this book of yours which author and what title would that be? How are they the same or different?

MN: Michael and Me is an amalgam of multiple, overlapping narratives. It's about Michael's experiences while trying to heal himself of cancer; about my grief and spiritual lessons; and it's also about the power of energy modalities such as qigong, reiki and prayer. Finally, a number of the poems reflect on the soul's quest and on the boundless nature of love.

As I already mentioned, Michael and Me was first written as a memoir. Before and during the drafting of this memoir, I was reading many non-fiction books dealing with loss, renewal, and spiritual awakening. Among the books I read at that time there are two that resonate most with my themes, experiences and ideas. The first is Dying To Be Me by Anita Moorjani. This is a non-fiction book that chronicles Moorjani's near-death experience. She miraculously survived and healed from very advanced cancer through self-love, self-acceptance and trust in life. The second book that strikes a deep chord with me is Broken Open – How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow by Elizabeth Lesser. Lesser's book is a combination of shared individual experiences, Lesser's own memoir and insights as well as guidance on how to rise above suffering with wisdom and love.

Since these books are non-fiction prose, the musicality and lyricism that are an integral part of poetry are not relevant. Moorjani's memoir highlights the eternal nature of the soul and love — insights that I write about in my collection. The theme that runs through all of Lesser's stories is that spiritual transformation and awareness can come from suffering and loss. I also explore this concept in Michael and Me.

SB:       Thanks so much, once again. It is really appreciated when authors are open to sharing their thoughts and experience in creating a book with their readers.

Merle Nudelman is a poet, educator, and lawyer. She is the author of five books of poetry, including The Seeker Ascends (Inanna Publications, 2018). Merle's first collection, Borrowed Light, won the 2004 Canadian Jewish Book Award for Poetry as well as an Honorable Mention in the Arizona Authors Association 2004 Literary Contest. Merle's poems have been published in literary journals, anthologies, and zines in Canada and in the United States and have garnered awards. Her academic essays appear in Canadian university publications. Merle teaches memoir and poetry writing and gives workshops on healing through words. Michael and Me is her sixth collection of poems.

Sharon Berg attended the Banff School of Fine Arts Writing Studio in 1982 and was accepted to Banff’s Leighton Artist Colony in 1987. She is also an alumni of Humber College’s Writing Program. She did her B.A. in Indigenous Studies at Laurentian U, followed by her B.Ed for Primary Education at U of T. Her M.Ed focused on First Nations Education at York U, and her D.Ed focused on Indigenous Education at UBC. She also received a Certificate in Magazine Journalism from Ryerson U. Sharon founded and operated the international literary E-Zine Big Pond Rumours (2006-2019) and its associated press, which released chapbooks of Canadian poets as prizes for the magazine’s contests. She's published five full books and three chapbooks, working in poetry, fiction, and nonfiction. Her work appears in periodicals across Canada, the USA, Mexico, the UK, the Netherlands, India, Germany, Singapore, and Australia. Her 3rd poetry collection Stars in the Junkyard (Cyberwit 2020) was a Finalist in the 2022 International Book Awards, and her narrative history The Name Unspoken: Wandering Spirit Survival School (Big Pond Rumours Press 2019) won a 2020 IPPY Award for Regional Nonfiction. When she retired from teaching, she opened Oceanview Writers Retreat in Charlottetown (Terra Nova National Park) Newfoundland.