come back & no don’t
Send me away if you want it’s your risk not mine. But if you do send me off you better know what you’re doing you better think this one through rightways and leftways and downways and upways and backwards and forwards and every which way. every angle. ^ < > Just saying. Think this one out. & see,
See: here’s the thing:
Send me away and I’ll come back anyways. & here’s another thing:
If I come back it might be as something you don’t want to see with the hahahaha writ all over my face and the joke’ll be on you – on your face, miss happy face, miss ‘I don’t care cos you don’t exist anyway’, miss ‘I’ll carry on without you just fine & be best I can be on my own with you gone. and never were anyway.’
Not sonotso not so. Snot nose. I always was. & I always was with you @home with you. Right here @on the range where the deer and whatevertheotherthingis roam. Or some such. You listening? You all ears right now, cos you never bothered to listen before – so I’m:
JUST SHOCKED!!! JUST STUNNED!!! By the simple fact that right now you do seem to be listening. & are attentive. But are you? Are you??
Is this a ruse??? Nononono, ma Cherie, mein Liebeskind, meine herrliche, breitweise Blume:: I think not. Ithink notsonot so. I do ins Herz believe you are listening to me:
So here it is: straight from the old cow’s mouth:
(and if this is a ruse and if you’re not listening well then its all your fault what is going to happen & none of my doing my dearmydear, mydarling kleines Liebeskind. Not my fault.) 😉
So here it is as you wait with baited breath. (not a spelling mistake. We’ll talk about that later.)
Exclude me like you’ve always done – just u continue to do that – & u exclude the thing u know nothing of. Since u never even bothered to look. U-turn away. Because I am the u of u u don’t want to see.
And you know what they say about the things youdon’tseecan’tseedon’twanttosee. Those things. They are please god they are the very things that come back at you. And bite. Wahhhhp! They bite on you with the fangs out and the jaw locked in and those things you know they hang on to you with the lockjawlocked until, mein liebes Kind, well what ich meine is that they don’t let go they fassen fest and they hang on until you go necrotic your fingers flacken & blacken & fall off & the arm must be amputated at once. All of it and the other one too while we’re at it. nonononono in nowise ma Cherie, we do not have any anesthetic. We sold it all and anyways is too expensive for the likes of you. Sososososo. You see? It will be painful. That’s it: well hier is the point. in one short line:
The thing you don’tsee will come back as the thing you don’twanttosee.
& that’s me: that’s me: that’s just me. Hi. Howyadoin? Still all ears? Glad to hear it miss happy face 😊 god that really does look like you. Mores the pity.
Send me away and soon je reviens, to sting you in the back & cataract your old eyes, and pour slop over your entire memories and twist your flatfoot gait into a crooked lockstep.
It wont take much to do all of this I promise you, miss hold und schoen und rhein.
U have no idea how easy it will be.
Seeseesee misssissy: its just this:
If you send me away again, I will come back and destroy you in an instant. Are we aneinandervorbeireden? (look it up) Or are you truly listening. You don’t have to answer. But hiers what I want to say ich meine:
Takemein. As I am. Don’t shut me out. Let me speak mysay and say whatevershitiwant. And however.
Hold me in the
Deepest part of your Herz in there
where is darkest dunnest smoke of hell
where nothing bleeds and all is listening and eyes
so far within so far you never knew it even ever was
but truly has always been
hold me there hold me there
& if you dont, I wont be held responsible. No I wont. Not my fault.
So whats it to be? Im waiting for your decision.
& I can only advise you:
Think it through before you naysay or yaysay.
Think it through carefully.
I mean ich meine I can’t tell you what will happen exactly if your answer is no, but ill wager my little steinleben in bitcoin that it wont be good. (and that’s another thing: pay that back. You got 50 is now worth 600)
(and the thing with your breath: it smells like a possum died in your mouth. So do something about it for jesus’ sake.)
So I’m sitting back here waiting outside for your response and it better be good the lord it better be. So whatsittobe? Whatsittobe? Whatsit? Whatsit? Miss happyface 😊 and growsome hairwhileyouratit.
Rosalind Goldsmith lives in Toronto. She has written radio plays for CBC Radio Drama and a play for the Blyth Theatre Festival. She began writing short fiction six years ago and since then, her stories have appeared in journals in Canada, the USA and the UK, including filling Station, Understorey, antilang., Litro, Orca, Fairlight Books, Chiron Review, Into the Void, Stand and Fiction International.