Sacred

By Ziyana Kotadia

I know my religion like a habit,
carefully crafted performance art,
sloping verses of Du’a
tattooed over my tongue
in muscle memory swirls and loops,
rust-worn stories upon well-rehearsed lips:
how an angel on Mount Hira
spoke shivers down Muhammad’s spine,
how devotion multiplies like fireworks
on the anniversary of the revelation.
 
My fingers trace the rhythm
of ancient patterns,
ballet choreography over tasbih beads
in 99 recurrent steps,
clasping my hands together
to catch falling blessings,
empty hands craving
something heavier than air
to hold onto.
 
I need to touch something sacred.
 
We have left the language
of spirituality behind us
like a yellow-pages phone book
used to prop open the door on moving day,
reserved our reverence for
reality-tv politicians
who confuse power for prophecy,
and algorithms with divine answers
we don’t have to pray for.
 
I need to touch something sacred –
 
before we make
idols out of authoritarians,
exhume the sanctity
flaring behind this life
like an ember,
beneath the traditions
my body mimics and cites,
find faith in modern moments.
 
Like the way I collect verses of poetry
as if I’m gathering a prayerbook,
the way veins spiderweb my wrists
like Arabic calligraphy on parchment,
the way I could swear
the hum of electrical wires above me
on the nighttime walk home
rises and falls
like a breathing body –
it could be Qur’anic.
It could be Jibreel.
 
There is grace in the everyday,
in the moments that transcend ritual,
reminders that the vastness
resonating in my bones
doesn’t need scripture wrapped
around my blunt Canadian tongue
to recognize the home
it has made
out of me.

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Ziyana Kotadia is a gender justice advocate and writer based in Calgary, Alberta. Armed with an MPhil in Gender Studies from the University of Cambridge, Ziyana has served in leadership roles across several organizations, including as the inaugural Chair of the anti-violence not-for-profit Safe Campus Coalition and on the Board of Directors for Plan International Canada. Passionate about the intersection of politics, art, and social justice, Ziyana has published articles in numerous outlets, including the Toronto Star, Edmonton Journal, and Ottawa Citizen. Recognized as one of Alberta’s Top 30 Under 30 and a Rising Star National Finalist with the Women Empowerment Awards, Ziyana currently leads strategic communications for a gender-based violence prevention research hub.